It's actually a 1908 Webster's "Complete Vest Pocket" Dictionary that I bought at a garage sale in Little Tokyo for a buck. The parallels are striking though: slim, black, lightweight, and helps you settle wagers when you're at the pub. The dimensions and weight are the iPhone's to a tee, though this is slightly more narrow.
According to this baby, the definition of bicycle is "a two-wheeled velocipede".
Man, you got that right.
And a "gammer" is -- you guessed it -- "an old woman".
Inside the front cover are "Golden Rule Briefs", a delightful brush-up on how not to be a complete douche bag in public. Sadly, no mention here of turn signals, loud cellphone conversations, or kicking the seat in front of you on a cross-country flight.
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